Chapter 11 : Pushed Away, Pulled Back

The next few days I refused Elodie’s company at breaktime. I told her that I didn’t need her help. I began to talk more to Felicia’s gang, as if trying to fit in, even when they responded with more bullying. Elodie looked at me with confusion and hurt, but I know this is for her sake.

     Soon enough, as my efforts showed, Elodie’s attitude seemed to turn to ice again. She stopped coming to me at breaktimes, stopped sitting at my table, stopped glaring at Felicia and the others as if she’d stopped caring.

     And I felt absolutely miserable. Loneliness washed over me like a deep dark ocean, drowning out everything else. I began to hallucinate, about sitting at a calm place in a forest, a stream tinkling with joy as it ran over my bare feet. In the trees and out of sight, birds sang beautiful melodies with each other. I wanted to stay in that world forever and never wake up but was always distracted.

     The sessions stayed the same, but there’s a layer of tension simmering underneath. Elodie still performed well but sometimes found herself staring out the window. I often stare into space, only realizing my place when Elodie ask for help.

     A few days passed with this silence, and the strain was becoming unbearable. During one of our tutoring sessions, as I was trying to explain a difficult concept, Elodie suddenly stopped me mid-sentence.

     “Serena,” she said, her voice unusually firm, “what’s going on? You’ve been avoiding me. Why?”

    I flinched, caught off guard by her directness. She looked at me with those penetrating eyes, as if she could see right through the mask I’d been wearing.

     “I haven’t been avoiding you,” I lied, my heart twisting around under the pressure. I forced myself to keep my eyes on the textbook, pretending to concentrate on the material, even though my mind was racing.

     Elodie didn’t buy it. She leaned in, her gaze never leaving mine. “Stop lying. I can see it. You’ve been pushing me away, and I want to know why.”

     I felt my throat tighten. I wanted to explain, to tell her everything, but the words were stuck in my chest.

     When I didn’t respond, Elodie’s voice softened, and I could hear the hurt in it. “Is it because of what happened with those girls? Is that why you’re keeping your distance? Because you think I’m too violent and aggressive?”

     I shook my head, the movement automatic, but I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. I couldn’t bear her to fall for my sake.

     "Please, Serena. You know I care about you, right?" Elodie’s words were so earnest, filled with understanding. But all I could think about was how much I wanted to protect her from the consequences of being associated with someone like me.

      Finally, the walls I had built around myself cracked. The words spilled out in a rush, unbidden and heavy. “I don’t want them to drag you down too, Elodie. They’ve already done enough to me, and I can’t let them ruin everything for you. You’re rising. You’re getting better, and if you stay close to me, they’ll make you a target just like they’ve made me one. I don’t want that for you.”

     A long, long silence stretched between us, and I could feel my words hanging in the air, the atmosphere as if electrified. Elodie’s expression was unreadable for a moment, but then, to my surprise, she smiled.

     Her smile wasn’t the one I had gotten used to—the small, reserved one she showed to the teachers or the students. No, this smile was different. It was full of warmth, full of something I hadn’t expected to see in her. Like the time she finally let me into her heart.

    “I understand why you’d feel that way,” she said quietly, her voice thick with emotion. “But I won’t leave you, Serena. Not now. Not ever. You’ve been there for me when no one else would. I will stand by your side, no matter what happens.”

     Her words were like a magical balm to a wound I hadn’t even realized was there. She had always been so defiant, so self-confident, and I had never imagined she would be willing to stand by someone like me—someone who was now broken and so far from perfect. But she’s really saying it now.

     She would stay by my side.

     “I’m not going to let you go through this alone,” Elodie continued, her voice firm but tender. “Whatever they throw at us, we’ll face it together. And when you’re ready, you’ll stand up for yourself. You’re strong, Serena. In a way you didn’t even realize before. I see that now. And so would you.”

    I felt a lump in my throat, and before I could stop myself, tears sprang to my eyes. I had never felt so cared for, so seen in my entire life.

     I sniffed and wiped at my eyes, trying to hold back the emotions threatening to spill over. My mom had told me it was improper and naïve for me to cry in public, but I can’t control myself. “You mean that?”

     Elodie’s smile softened, like a gentle streak of sunlight, and she nodded. “I do. I’m not going anywhere. And if they try to tear us down, they’ll have to deal with both of us. Together.”

     Her words struck something deep within me. A spark of hope. I had been living under the weight of their cruelty for a long time, but in that moment, I felt something I hadn’t felt in ages—strength.

     Elodie had shown me that I didn’t have to face this alone. That I didn’t have to be perfect to deserve her friendship.

     “I’ll stand up for myself,” I whispered, my voice trembling with determination. “But only if you’re with me.”

     “I will be,” Elodie promised, her eyes hard with determination. “Always.”

    I threw myself into her arms. I knew I finally found my Garden of Eden. Just like she did when I promised her the same word a month ago.